How to get over obsession with someone who cannot be yours?
How to get over obsession with someone who cannot be yours?
Is it any wonder that when you think of love it is often attached to an obsession? You may be obsessing over someone and wanting to be close to them, but it may just be your desire for something to fall back on when you don’t have your own life to go to.
Here are a few reasons to obsess and a few pointers that can help you get over the obsession.
If you are feeling a craving and you know it is an obsession, then you are not wrong. When you get into a constant obsession it is not that easy to get away from the obsession. The moment that you realize it is an obsession you are close to getting rid of it. You know that the obsession is going to get to a point where the person will not accept you. When that happens, you will be all alone, you will feel as if you are in a bubble, and it will get you mad. If you get mad you will want to get out of the bubble and that is when you will find out that the person will not accept you.
Feeling is all that is required
If you are feeling angry, annoyed and you are having a passion to get back at the person then that is the moment you should get rid of the obsession. Find something to do to keep you busy, get a hobby and just stay away from the obsession.
Avoid calling the person
If you find out that you are obsessive about the person and you want to get back to them then try to avoid calling them. Even if they call you then don’t answer. Keep yourself busy with other things that you enjoy doing.
You are in a bad state
It is one thing to know you are obsessed with someone and that it will get worse, but another thing to actually find out that you are obsessing about the person. When you are obsessing about a person it is because you are in a bad state, you are obsessing about something that you cannot have.
If you are not getting back at the obsession then you may be obsessing about a bad relationship, you are obsessing over something that you don’t want. You may have a bad relationship that is just at the stage where it has been so bad that you don’t want to get back with it anymore. You are using the obsession as a way to forget the bad relationship and that is why you are thinking of the person. This is how you get rid of it. Just focus on something else.
For a non-caring person, a relationship just adds to their list of things to do. For a caring person, it makes them a person who can take away all the pain that comes with love, and help the relationship move forward. This is one area of life, which I like to think of as a victimless crime.
Who are the victims here? A non-caring person looks on and gazes at his or her lover. The nice person will do their best to make the other person happy, sometimes without even knowing the other person, to avoid putting more stress on the relationship.
For a caring person, the desire to care for a person to make their life better, whether it is emotionally, physically or socially is a passionate obsession that cannot be ignored.
Over time, the obsessive care makes it difficult to take care of others. I am not saying that caring about your mate or loved ones is a bad thing. If it is a choice you have to make to be with a person, then that choice is a very good one. However, if it consumes you to the point that you cannot concentrate on other matters, or even care about your job, it is an obsession, and is not healthy.
You have a choice. You can take the path of the good caring person, or the path of the obsessive obsessed.
What should a caring person do when they have developed an obsession for someone who is not theirs to have?
Ask themselves why the obsession began. Sometimes the obsession is so deeply embedded that it takes a long time for it to surface. If a person is having inappropriate feelings for someone they do not know, they need to ask themselves how long it has been going on for, how it is affecting their life, and why the other person would make them feel uncomfortable.
Make a list of the positive aspects of the relationship. What can they say about their love for their beloved partner? Is it adding to the person’s life, or having a negative impact? Are they kind to others, and do they care about the well-being of others?
If someone has become obsessed with their lover, asking themselves the questions above can help a caring person come to terms with it. When you are able to have your attention focused on other people, you can start to make the new life that you desire.
Obsession is a curse for any loving relationship, which is why the process of un-obsessing is so important.